If you have ever been shy to seek help, please don’t be. Someone is always willing to assist. After all, no human is perfect.
Photo credit: Prostooleh
Whether you are a football fan or not, I’m sure you’ve heard of the terms ‘Assists’ and ‘VAR’. An assist is defined as a contribution by a player who helped score a goal. The reason for providing assists to a teammate is to make the scoring process efficient and easy. At the end of the game, statistics on assists are analyzed and recognition is given to assisting players. This also applies in the workplace. Normalize assisting and supporting colleagues, there are rewards to it.
On the other hand, the VAR (Video Assistant Referee) is a system, which reviews the decisions made by the referee during gameplay. It may be one of the greatest inventions in the world of football at the moment. The use of VAR to review the decisions made by the referees is a classic example that no human is perfect.
The key thing to note is that the collaborative effort by the match officials and VAR officials does not imply that either of the officials is weak or incompetent. It only means that there is no need to waste time in making an uncertain decision when there is the option of consulting.
Just like the match officials, your performance development and career progression depend on your ability to consult with your coworkers. Yet, some still find it impossible to seek help from co-workers when they need it.
The reason why they might find it difficult to seek help is as a result of the social threats that may be involved, such as the risk of rejection, and potential diminished social status at work.
However, Vanessa Bohns seems to think otherwise. During an assessment, she found out that the compliance rate at which people provided assistance to colleagues was at an average of 48% - higher than the help the seeker expected. This was later explained in a Swiss study, that some people naturally feel better after helping someone.
So, if you have ever been shy to seek help, please don’t be. Someone is always willing to assist. The following ways highlight how you can seek help without looking weak or incompetent;
1. Overcome your reluctance to seek help
One of the ways to overcome the reluctance to seek help is to know how to ask for help in the first place. Do not ask for help as if you are entitled to it, rather ask for it politely and with respect. Failure of which will make the help giver feel like they are being forced to help out. To guarantee that you ask for help in a polite way, start by crafting a language of request;
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Figure out and state your objective of why you need the help in the first place. This will also offer clarity on what kind of help you need.
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Be specific in your request and outline the actionable steps to be taken.
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Be realistic and have a timeline for it.
For instance, “I’m working on a TUMBO project, and I’d love your expert insight on this particular area. Can we set up a time when we can chat and bounce some ideas off of each other? I really think your input could take this project to the next level.”
2. Do your homework before seeking help
Confirm whether your question is worth asking at all. Some of the challenges you may experience at work could be solved by a simple Google search, going through company emails and inboxes, digging through team folders, and the company's intranet. Doing your homework enables you to save time so you can have plenty of time to do other things.
3. Identify the right person and the right moment
Trust is still a major challenge in building and fostering relationships, within and outside the workplace. A colleague may not seek help because of the vulnerabilities that are tied to it. They may not be ready to share those vulnerabilities with anyone lest they be judged for having them.
Professional relationships at the workplace are as important as your paycheck, for they offer an avenue of learning and excelling. Thus, it would be beneficial to find a colleague you can trust and ask for help from.
Also identifying the right person not only entails trust but also finding someone who has expertise in that field.
4. Prepare a menu of questions
Okay, let's just be super honest with ourselves. There is no way you are going to walk empty-handed to your manager's office without possible solutions to your problems, right? To some extent, you got to be part of the solution since asking for help and dispensing it is a collaborative effort.
For instance, …..these are some of the suggestions that I have, what do you think?
I would advise you to share what you have done to help yourself before involving others. We all got to learn from each other at the end of the day.
Conclusion
Asking for help is not a show of weakness or incompetence. Consider seeking help;
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When you have no idea of what you are doing
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When you have made a mistake
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When you need additional expertise or insight
