Mansplaining in the workplace is something that can affect communication, boundaries, and co-workers' self-respect when it's done frequently. Read on to learn what mansplaining looks like and how you can overcome it at work.
Mansplaining…we’ve all heard the term and probably experienced it in causal and professional settings. Being on the receiving end of it is not a nice feeling. For those who don’t know what mansplaining means, here’s the definition according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary: “To explain something to a woman in a condescending way that assumes she has no knowledge about the topic.”
This simply refers to situations when a man offers an unsolicited explanation to a woman in an oversimplified, overconfident, and patronizing manner. However, mansplaining is rarely intentionally malicious. I mean, it’s not like some men wake up in the morning thinking of ways to mansplain to women. Some people may not even realize they are doing it.
The origins of the term “Mansplaining.”
The term “mansplain” is an accurate portmanteau combining “man” and “explain.” It was first popularized in the 2008 essay, Men Explain Things To Me, by Rebecca Solnit.
In the essay, Rebecca described a previous interaction with a man where he explained the importance and premise of a certain book to her with the assumption she had no knowledge of it. The catch? Solnit wrote the book herself. The guy went on and on about it despite her friend’s insistence that it was her book.
Other examples of mansplaining include:
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A NASA astronaut being challenged on her tweet about an experiment she conducted in a space-equivalent zone.
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When this astrophysicist tweeting about climate change was told to “learn actual science.”
Despite all the harm caused by mansplaining, many men in the workplace are still unsure of what it means, even going as far as saying the term is an exaggeration, which is actually a form of mansplaining.
In terms of issues women experience in the workplace, mansplaining may seem more like an annoyance than a pressing problem. However, we should be concerned about the unintended consequences of mansplaining at work. Since it usually comes from a place of patronizing, the mansplainer assumes they know more than the other party. This increases their chances of perceiving some co-workers as less knowledgeable and, consequently, less competent.
This means the guilty parties (especially those in leadership roles) are less likely to pick people they mansplain to for leadership roles, project teams and committees because they see them as knowing less. With such repercussions, that is when mansplaining moves from being a nuisance to having a negative impact on people’s professional and financial lives. It’s a slippery slope.
And just to clear things up, if you ask a man to explain something to you and don’t like the one of their voice or what they have to say once they start talking, this does not qualify as mansplaining. Remember that people have a right to their opinion, and just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean you can go around calling them mansplainers. So who or what exactly falls under the mansplaining umbrella?
Signs of a mansplainer
Even though men are often guilty of mansplaining at work and in other settings, women can also engage in this behaviour (yikes!). Mansplainers aren’t necessarily confined to management ranks; coworkers can also exhibit this behaviour. As a career professional, if you aren’t sure you’re a mansplainer, these characteristics can help you find out.
1. They always seek dominance in any communication or conversation
Mansplaining is typically loud and given from a position of dominance. There’s always that one person who needs to be the most powerful in a conversation, so they will not give others room to contribute in any way. It is in their nature to be dominant, and nothing you do or say will change their perspective.
This makes everyone else in the room feel inferior to them, no matter how much everyone tries to assert themselves. Such coworkers will often interrupt during conversations and take the lead in meetings, which isn’t bad, but there’s a way to do it such that everyone feels heard and engaged. When this happens too frequently, most female colleagues won’t be able to get a word in and will resort to sinking into quiet self-doubt.
2. They ignore their colleagues
Sometimes, mansplaining in the workplace can be non-verbal. One indication of this is when managers reject or fail to acknowledge issues brought up by employees. Another form of mansplaining is holding back on positive feedback or not giving credit to everyone who contributed to a solution or an idea.
3. They are rude
Mansplainers usually interrupt others or jump into conversations uninvited. They are not interested in having a dialogue with the other person and thus will not invite them to add anything more to the conversation. Additionally, mansplainers will immediately discredit any further conversation, walk away, or move on to another topic or person.
4. They are often condescending toward others
Such a person will talk to others as if they are inferior. This also occurs when a man believes he knows more than his female coworkers or sits above a woman in their organizational chart, so they think it gives them a right to speak the way they do. Their condescending tone may sound caring and kind, but it is not one you’d take with a peer. Being condescending to others cannot be tolerated in the workplace, as it is rude and disrespectful. Talking down to colleagues is an issue that can affect their productivity and the company’s reputation.
People in positions of power over others should be aware that anything they say holds more weight and will be taken to heart more quickly. Thus, being a condescending mansplainer can make co-workers frustrated and believe their ideas and opinions are not good enough.
5. They are overconfident but clueless about the matter at hand
Sometimes, mansplaining does not come from a condescending place but rather from a place of cluelessness. Let me explain. This person basically thinks they know it all, but in essence, they don’t have much knowledge on the matter, and they use their overconfidence to cover it up. This is one of the most obvious mansplainers you will encounter.
So instead of saying, “I don’t think I have enough knowledge on X to have an opinion, would you mind elaborating?” they continue discussing or explaining a topic to someone who probably has more info than they do. The person will keep inserting their inaccurate and unsolicited knowledge into the conversation with extreme confidence instead of backing down and admitting they don’t know what they’re talking about.
6. The one who conforms to stereotypical gender roles
Have you ever had a man explain something like sports or car maintenance to you in a patronizing or oversimplified way because they assumed as a woman, you know less about the topic than they do? This is another prime indication of a mansplainer. They assume that because you’re a woman, you know less about what society considers stereotypical male activities.
So a quick recap:
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If you’re explaining a topic to a woman with more knowledge and expertise on it than you, you’re probably mansplaining.
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If you’re explaining a topic to a woman differently than you would a man, you might be mansplaining.
Dealing with mansplaining in the workplace
Mansplaining undervalues women and their competence, reinforces gender stereotypes, and can impact women’s careers. Not only does it happen in our personal lives, but also in the workplace. So let’s dive into some ways you can tackle mansplaining at work or anywhere else.
Explaining mansplaining to a mansplainer
That’s quite the tongue twister….but doing it is easier said than done and can be uncomfortable and tricky. Luckily, there’s a way to nip this behaviour in the bud while tactfully educating the person in the process.
First things first, call out the mansplaining immediately when it happens. Start by telling the person what they are doing the moment it happens. Say something like, “Mr X, you’re mansplaining to me.” Most people don’t realize when they’re doing it, so to recognize their behaviour in the future, they need to know what it looks like. If it doesn’t feel appropriate to bring it up in front of others at that moment, speak to them privately. However, if they’re mansplaining something that seems more minor, you can address it in a casual conversation.
Handling the situation immediately by standing up for yourself establishes boundaries showing you respect yourself and will not be subjected to this negative behaviour. When you don’t speak up immediately, the other person will not know their behaviour was disrespectful, and thus, they won’t make any changes. Also, if you’re constantly getting interrupted when you talk, eventually, you won’t feel the need to speak up about anything.
Our goal is to help them learn from their actions and change for the better. We want to ensure the mansplainer knows they are making wrong assumptions that their qualified women colleagues wouldn’t know something for some reason.
Awareness training programs for employees and employers
Unconscious bias awareness, diversity, and self-awareness training programs in the workplace can help educate employees to eliminate behaviours like mansplaining in the workplace. Also, managerial training can help leaders be wary of these issues and learn how to deal with them. Decisive action and support from company leaders are some of the best ways to shed light on such workplace communication issues to eradicate them altogether.
Don’t take it personally
Keep in mind that some mansplainers may never change despite your efforts to call out and correct their behaviour. Some men grew up with the idea that why hold more authority over women and can speak down on them whenever they want. So if they snub you and continue with their mansplaining ways, try not to take it personally.
How they choose to speak is not a reflection of you; an emotional reaction might worsen the situation. Take a deep breath and make a mental note to discuss the matter with your manager. After all, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help, and maybe your supervisor will have a better protocol for handling situations of mansplaining in the workplace.
When you’re the only “outsider” in the room
It’s easy to feel like an outsider when you’re the only woman in a meeting. To overcome these feelings, it is important to be conscious about actively participating and speaking up in the conversation. This also means others in the room should give you the space to do that. If you don’t advocate for yourself and your supervisors and co-workers don’t value creating that space for you, it will be easy to find yourself in a situation with a mansplainer.
Read also: Constantly getting talked over in meetings? These 5 communication skills will help you become more assertive at work and get your voice heard
Use humour
It can be hard to start speaking up for yourself if you’re not used to it. That is why humour can be helpful. Start by saying, “you’re mansplaining me,” explain what happened and bring attention to it in a diplomatic and pleasant way. Humour tends to make people less defensive, so it’s worth a try in this situation.
Read also: Sexism at the workplace: Taboo or reality?
In conclusion, mansplaining in the workplace is not something to be encouraged or welcomed. Equality at work starts with the little things, like communication, which adds up to respect for everyone you work with at every level.
