Unresolved workplace conflict can get in the way of work relationships making it hard to stay productive and collaborate effectively. The phrases in this article will help you easily solve conflicts or tense situations at work.
If you've ever experienced conflict in the workplace with a colleague or boss, you know how it strains your relationships. It takes a lot of self-awareness, communication, and understanding for it to end well. One needs to know what needs to be said to resolve the conflict. More so, conflict resolution is an important skill you need to have in 2023.
According to the Harvard Business Review, self-awareness, communication, and empathy are key to having difficult conversations productively and professionally.
You can also ask yourself these questions to understand how you act during the conflict:
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Do I seek out conflict or avoid it when it happens?
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Can I easily and firmly communicate the issue bothering me during the conflict?
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Am I short-tempered or even-tempered during a heated argument?
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What is more important, understanding the person I am in conflict with or being understood?
These questions help you understand yourself better as you communicate during a workplace conflict. They will also help you self-regulate during a workplace conflict by either taking time out or focusing on the right questions. Here are 10 phrases you can say to resolve any workplace conflict.
“Thank you for your openness; I appreciate the feedback.”
Use this phrase when confronted or offered feedback. It shows your openness to listen and try to address the issue if there is any. It can also be a closing statement after a successful difficult conversation. Great team leaders are open to feedback because they recognize it as an avenue for growth for themselves and their teams.
“Tell me more, I want to understand.”
This phrase helps you get a deeper understanding of the workplace conflict, you can also couple it with, “what I heard you say is…..” to repeat what your colleague has mentioned as the issue. This will ensure you are up to speed as you listen.
This phrase is important because it shows your willingness to get to the root of workplace conflict. During conflict, people usually seek to be understood. Once you address this, you’ll have defused the situation.
“What can we do to change the situation?”
Conflict resolution is about problem-solving, and it takes two people or teams in conflict to do something to change the situation. Answers to this question can help people identify what they can do to solve the problem at hand. Focus on listening to all that is suggested, then you can point out what is achievable and commit to your part. Try not to tell the other person what to do until you are sure they are open.
“How can I support you?”
It's important to practice effective communication during conflict, for example, by asking how you can support the person you are in conflict with. This question also shows a willingness to help resolve the situation. The expectation is that the other person will share what they would like you to do to support them. It’s okay if the answer is “I don’t know,” you can respond with, “Okay, let me know when you have an answer.” Here is also an article on how to communicate the need for support at work without feeling awkward or incompetent.
“I agree with you on……or I hear you on…….”
When we agree with the person we are in conflict with, that is common ground. However, don’t just agree on something to avoid conflict or pacify the other party. Pacifying or avoiding conflict can cause resentment within the team while resolving things ends the issue. Sometimes the agreement is enough to end the argument.
“I see how I have contributed to the problem.”
To become a leader people admire and want to work for, you must practice taking responsibility, especially when you contribute to a problem. Here is an example of where this phrase would apply:
Tommy: You don’t pick up your calls when I reach out to share glitches I am facing with the system, yet you expect me to meet the deadline.
Sophia: I see how ignoring your calls has contributed to the late submissions. Moving forward, I can commit to answering my phone when you call.
“I appreciate your hard work and efforts.”
This statement is a good starter before you get into your grievance as the person with conflict. You can also use it when someone has spoken about an issue they have with you. This phrase shows that you see this person and the work they put in with or without the conflict at hand. If you feel unappreciated, here is how you can handle it.
“Can we take a break and get back to this issue when we have cooled down a bit?” "
Workplace conflict comes in different forms, sometimes it can be through passive-aggressive communication, or voices may be raised. You can use this phrase if you notice that the room is too tense for clear communication to thrive. Due to tools like therapy, understanding personality types, and self-awareness, you can press the pause button, calm down, process the issue, and then come back to it when you are both in a better emotional space.
"When you said or did that I felt……."
Vulnerability can be an important part of resolving conflict, but it will only be appreciated where it is welcome. So use this statement if your space is safe enough for you to share your feelings. An example is if a team member shares generalized statements of blame and it makes you feel unappreciated. You can use this phrase to communicate how you feel.
"I am sorry for……"
This statement is the G.O.A.T when it comes to conflict resolution. As you say it, you need to acknowledge what exactly you are apologizing for. For example, using the Tommy/Sophia situation, Sophia could say: “I am sorry for not picking up your calls when you needed support on the glitches in the system.”
Conclusion
Conflict is normal, and it's important to understand that your emotions are valid even as you navigate workplace conflict. Your reactions to a conflict should aim toward resolving the issue at hand in an emotionally healthy manner so you can bring your team closer.
Read more: 7 ways millennials are changing leadership
