We have moved from the traditional office relationships culture where colleagues were work buddies and nothing more. In 2022, managers and strategists are encouraging us to view colleagues as family members. They are not wrong. We spend a rough estimate of 40 hours on a weekly basis with people from diverse cultures at the workplace. Building and maintaining a strong relationship with these people helps us to maintain happiness, open us up to more learning opportunities, and improves positivity towards work.
But like all family members, sometimes disputes occur that will make you lose your warm relationship with your work bestie or your boss. When the damaged relationship is not checked, it quickly becomes a source of unhappiness, anger, and resentment towards others, your work, and the workplace. This is why we should all be actively working to patch together damaged work relationships.
Here are a few tips on how you can amend damaged work relationships and make them work for your good.
Acknowledge the damaged relationship
As the very first step, approach your work bestie and acknowledge the damaged relationship. This will set a friendly pace for the two of you, allowing both of you to express your emotions and feelings about your damaged relationship. For this to work, be quick to genuinely apologize if you were responsible for causing damage to the good relationship you shared.
Establish ground rules for your relationship
For example, I have always struggled with having a best friend who has another best friend. Our best friends are go-to people for all juicy gossip and updates about Sly from human resources. It helps to have a best friend who will not hang you out to the birds. Be intentional about your ways of relating. If you prefer to have your conversations remain between the two of you, be upfront and express your need for privacy. Have your expectations clear and in the open.
Raise the positive outcomes of your relationship
Did the warm relationship you share with your boss help you meet set objectives at work? Tell him or her! When your boss is in the know that a positive relationship between the two of you helps you thrive in your work output, he/she will be trying to maintain a warm relationship. A damaged relationship between you will have ripple effects in your work thus a shared understanding of the positive outcomes of your relationship will help mend and maintain a good relationship. At the end of the day, remind yourself that it’s not about you or them, it is about the good relationship you share.
Reflect on your history
Forget what the Tom, Dick, and Harrys of this world have told you about reflecting on the history of your relationship. I’m here to affirm that indeed there’s nothing wrong about looking back to see how far the two of you have come. Do you remember when you nailed a presentation with the shareholders? What about the other time the both of you championed the creation of a theory of change when your strategies became redundant? Reflect on those happy days with a thought on how you would not have done it if your relationship was damaged.
Come up with new ways of relating with each other
Sometimes relationships become damaged because of routine. Let’s face it, a routine can be boring. For example, if you and your work bestie only have conversations about other people from your place of work, your relationship could easily be damaged. While talking about others is not an insanely bad way to relate, it is not sustainable. Aim to balance and make it interesting. A little talk about the boss with the nice wig, a reflection on the course the two of you did last month and a plan on how you can grow in your career will strengthen your relationship with your work bestie, colleague, or supervisor.
Read also: Workplace Friendships: The Unwritten Rules