Photo credit: Wayhomestudio
I was following a thread dubbed, “What career lies did they tell you” on Twitter. One lady wrote how she was advised that if she bags an internship at the Whitehouse, her career will grow exponentially. Although this sounds like a great career move, the lady went on to recount how her forty-nine-year-old boss warmed up to her young spirit and made inappropriate advances at her. While I was thinking about it and internally fuming at the open misuse of power, I came across a reply of the lady under the thread where she admitted to being love-bombed into entering into a sexual entanglement with the forty-nine-year-old boss. Her escapades cost her an otherwise prestigious job position. Although this lady shared her ordeal to create awareness and perhaps warn young girls from getting involved with their bosses, she was slut-shamed into silence. One particular tweet that caught my attention read, “ so what? You got paid millions for sleeping with that man. You didn’t lose anything!” If this is anything to go by, it shows how we have normalized sexual harassment in the workplace.
What does the data say?
In the 2021 report, the National Conference of State Legislatures (NCSL), reported that 6,500 workplace sexual harassment cases were reported in the 2020 financial year in the United States.
Such statistics are not available for countries in Sub-Saharan Africa. Countries in Sub-Saharan Africa have several blind spots in the definitions and what qualifies to be sexual harassment. I have read and heard about cases where a victim of sexual harassment gets sacked instead of getting the much-needed justice. These blind spots are also responsible for the misinformed notion that men cannot be victims of sexual harassment in the workplace. This myth is driven by the fact that men are considered ‘strong’ and most often the people that make the first move when it comes to sexual matters. However, this is inaccurate because sexual harassment is not gender biased; both men and women are at risk of getting sexually harassed.
What is sexual harassment?
The International Labour Office (ILO), defines sexual harassment as a sex-based behavior that is unwelcome and offensive to its recipient. Are you one of those colleagues that get unnecessarily close to your workmate? Well, that close proximity is a form of sexual harassment!
Moreover, sexual harassment does not only take the form of touching and fondling, rather even unsolicited hugs and french kisses are considered harassment. In fact, you might want to train your eyes not to look too long at your colleague’s bulging fly or the thunderous thighs or the curvy behind, because this too is harassment! If you must look or make a funny comment, consider the kind of relationship you share with the person. There’s no harm in commenting about your colleague’s killer curves when you share a mutually cordial relationship. It becomes wrong when you direct the sexual comments to a person you don’t share jokes with. However, I stand by the fact that there should be boundaries at the workplace whereby sexual comments and affirmations should be avoided.
There’s an African adage that states that when a handshake goes beyond an elbow, it's no longer a handshake. This applies to sexual jokes and full-blown harassment. I strongly believe that there’s nothing like jokes when it comes to sexual harassment. However, with boundaries, we can basket jokes onto one side and harassment on the other. For example, it's inappropriate to engage a colleague in a sexual conversation that is uncalled for. As per the sexual harassment at work framework by ILO, this is harassment. Therefore, for sexual innuendos to be a joke or harassment, is heavily dependent on the relationship you share with the person.
Examples of sexual harassment in the workplace
1. Sharing sexual images and videos with colleagues
Sharing sexually inappropriate images, gifs, memes and videos with colleagues is a form of sexual harassment. Inappropriate pictures may include pictures of lingerie and bikini sets. Sharing of such inappropriate material is not only uncomfortable but also demeaning to an individual.
2. Making sexual gestures
Sexual gestures like suggestive lip licking, smacking, groaning or a suggestive body movement are forms of sexual harassment. Gestures suggesting sexual behavior make it hard for an individual to concentrate and do their work well.
3. Asking sexual questions
Asking a colleague sexual questions for example their best intimate moments and sexual fantasies is a form of sexual harassment. Such questions are not friendly in a workplace setup.
4. Making sexual comments about the dressing or body parts of an Individual
It's absolutely okay to compliment a well-dressed colleague. However, if you make a comment suggesting that the clothing of the individual has made you have sexual feelings, that's undoubtedly a form of harassment.
Now I know you're thinking that these are normal things that shouldn't be flanked as a big deal. However, it's important to note that, any comment, gesture, and material that makes colleagues feel uncomfortable is a form of harassment.
What are your thoughts? What qualifies to be a joke in matters of sexual harassment? Where should we draw the line at work?