Who is a difficult boss? What qualifies someone to be called difficult? Read on to find out!
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We can all relate when people start whining about their difficult manager. And they go on and on about how they are given huge workloads or sometimes the boss expects perfection all the time and notices even the smallest, most minute mistakes.
There are people who fear talking to their bosses because they may blow up in anger if they are not happy about what is being said. A certain person would complain about how their boss pays them little but they heap them with extra tasks that are way outside their scope.
Huffpost did a survey in 2014 and discovered that 3 out of 4 employees report that their boss is the most stressful part of their job. A further 75% of them reported that their bad boss is the worst part of the workplace.
The definition of a difficult boss
We have to investigate first. Who is a difficult boss? What qualifies someone to be called difficult? Sometimes people call their bosses difficult when in actual sense they are not. There are people who unfairly call their supervisors difficult because they want their boss to fit their own description of a good boss.
Others call their leaders difficult because they have a personal vendetta against them. The vendetta may stem out of a previous dressing down from the boss that they haven’t let go. Or they may have a grudge with their boss because they passed them up for promotion.
Defining “difficult” is important so that we can be able to investigate whether that boss is in fact difficult.
Many times the human inclination can change a person’s paradigm to view the other in a negative light if you had a hard interaction with them. Probably the boss did something that offended you one day and you have never forgotten or forgiven.
As a result, your view of them is always unfavorable even if for a fact they are not.
Who is a difficult boss?
There is no definite consensus that a bad boss or person looks or does particular things because there are so many nuances to it. Difficult or bad bosses come in very many shapes and characters. According to balance careers here are some characteristics of bad bosses:
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They speak loudly and rudely to their employees. When communicating to their juniors, they address them in a condescending tone. That means they always look down on them. Obviously, when they look down on someone it will be hard to respect them as human beings. Without respect, some bosses bully employees. They criticize almost everything someone does and always notice the negligible mistake in the name of “you have to deliver.”
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Other bosses fail to give regular feedback and clear direction. This is majorly about clear, precise, succinct communication which they lack. As a result, they leave the employees confused about what needs to be done and how exactly it should be done. Employees need a strategic framework of goals that enable them to see their progress and mark their goals. However, these difficult bosses will just be silent about it and flip out reactively. I emphasize reactively because, if a pre-cautionary instruction or guidance was given, the mistake would have been avoided in the first place.
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When the mistake happens for the first time, they treat it with impatience as if it has occurred before.
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There is also a category of bosses who believe that they are always right. They are perfectionists and can’t take responsibility even when they make a mistake. When they are clearly on the wrong side of things, their team members fear letting them know. Even if done respectfully, it will have dire consequences on the one who gave it.
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In extreme cases, they can harass, throw projectiles at employees and even more gravely, assault them physically. Basically, they lose control of their stature and give in to the raging emotions of anger, vitriol and quick-temperedness.
Those are some of the characteristics of difficult bosses but there are many more.
So how do you deal with a difficult boss as an employee?
First, if you are dealing with extreme cases of physical abuse and assault, you should report to a higher authority and present evidence. If nothing is done, the authorities such as the police can be involved.
1. Practice Emotional intelligence (EQ)
EQ is vital. You need to develop it internally so that you can avoid acting out of emotions instead of reason. Take for example a boss who is always dressing you down intensely. Inside you feel like there is a warzone going on because you want to rebuff what they are saying and defend yourself.
Through exercising healthy emotional intelligence you’ll be able to take it with grace and not raise a farce. There are times you need to correct a distortion of facts and also false accusations.
Emotional intelligence will teach you to listen first without interrupting. It also helps you to listen so as to understand and not just respond. Finally, it helps you defend the truth or yourself rightfully so in a very respectful and constructive manner.
2. Prevent a problem before it happens
We know that problems and mistakes bring confrontation between a person and their boss. And if the boss is difficult, it is bound to be ugly.
In the article, solve problems before they happen by developing an “inner sense of captaincy the writer talks about how it is important to be proactive. He quotes the poet David Whyte who says that you have to develop an inner sense of captaincy in the “voyage of work”.
Whyte expresses that captains prevent a ship from hitting so many icebergs and veering off-course but people never notice. Yes, we do celebrate problem solvers because we see them bring solutions to existing problems.
But there is a category of people who prevent problems and never get noticed. These are the people who have developed a sense of captaincy.
Learn how to pre-empt trouble not just for you but also for your difficult boss and your colleagues. If sometimes you have to put in some extra hours just cross-checking and proofreading a report to eliminate errors, do that.
Whyte says you might never be recognized or rewarded but you built internal value that can’t be measured by any quantifiable metrics.
3. Know their motivation
You should practice empathy by wearing your boss's shoes. This will help you understand them better and why they react the way they do. Get to know their background so that you can be able to understand their thinking process. You will be better placed to get their pain points and how to maneuver through them.
4. Don't gossip about your boss with colleagues
It is tempting to vent your frustrations to your co-workers. However, it is not appropriate because it could have a ripple effect. When the report leaks to your boss it could even end in your dismissal.
Keep it to yourself. You have obviously come across the saying that your colleagues are not friends. It’s not always the case but being careful is always a good idea.
At the very least it keeps your integrity intact. Develop that inner sense of values that guide you independently.
In conclusion
If you feel that the environment is too toxic for you, you can leave. However, Dr. Margie Warell, a Forbes contributor advises that you conduct thorough research. It will help you go to the best place and avoid similar problems.
