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How To Have Those Difficult Conversations With Your Employees So They Don't Run For The Hills

An organization is a strong network of adult relationships that are mutually beneficial and collaborative. For this system to work seamlessly, you have to immediately deal with any problems that may jeopardize this network. This could mean having difficult conversations with employees from time to time. Read on to find out how best you can do this effectively.

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An organization is a strong network of adult relationships that are mutually beneficial and collaborative. For this system to work seamlessly, you have to immediately deal with any problems that may jeopardize this network. This could mean having difficult conversations with employees from time to time. Read on to find out how best you can do this effectively.

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If you want to understand someone, the best way to do that is to have a conversation. In fact, communication skills are one of the most essential skills you can have.

Leaders and managers should always have open and transparent conversations with their employees, no matter how difficult they may be. If there is an issue with an employee, it can be easy to ignore the problem and hope that it solves itself. However, this is ineffective and can worsen the situation, even affecting productivity or profitability. This is why you have to take the first step and address the problem immediately. 

Whether you want to talk about a performance issue or a pay cut, it is essential to exercise tact and caution to avoid burning any bridges. 

You need to have two objectives in mind when having difficult conversations with employees:

 

  • Solve a problem

  • Preserve the relationship

Here are a few steps to help you prepare for such conversations so that all parties leave the room having achieved both objectives. 

Change your mindset

It is normal to be nervous about having a difficult or uncomfortable conversation with an employee. After all, you may be unsure how to deal with such an unpredictable situation, and no one likes conflict. Of course, there is the expectation that the other party will be upset, especially if they don't like what they hear. 

The best way to overcome this is to change your mindset into a positive one. Once you do this and learn how to deal with the situation to produce the best possible outcome for everyone, it will be much easier to take the first step. 

Make sure you have all the facts first 

The best way to make sure the conversation goes well is to prepare ahead of time. You can't just call someone in and make accusations purely on your observations. Get all the facts and evidence necessary to address the issue at hand.  

This is why it is essential to establish policies for specific situations in the workplace and have documentation of any conflicts. When there are complaints or grievances against employees, you will know precisely how to handle them and enforce the relevant guidelines in response to the situation. 

Schedule the conversation

Try as much as you can to schedule difficult conversations with the employees involved, tactfully, of course. No one likes an ambush. Give the employee a heads-up directly. Let them know that you would like to talk about the matter at a specific time and date. You can do this on a call, in person, or via email. This allows them also to collect their thoughts before the talk. Give sufficient time before informing the person about the conversation; not too much time though, so they don't wallow in their thoughts and become too anxious. 

Pick the right time and place 

It is crucial to select the right atmosphere and time when having a difficult conversation with an employee. This helps everyone feel more comfortable and relaxed while setting the tone for the session. Ensure it is an appropriate setting like your office or the conference room. 

Do it privately

It is ideal to have difficult conversations with employees privately. This will maintain the confidentiality of the situation and protect everyone concerned, especially regarding a complaint or negative feedback about another employee. 

Keep in mind that you have a responsibility to speak to another party or take further action depending on what the employee says during the meeting. 

Ensure there is a witness present

Unless the conversation is short, you should always have a witness present, especially for situations involving behavioral issues and violations of workplace policies. The witness is usually an HR representative or a supervisor who should also be aware of the matter beforehand. 

Write down notes to guide you

Most of the time, such situations do not go according to plan, and the other party may not say what you expect them to. This is why writing a script for the conversation may not be helpful. However, you can prepare for the meeting with tangible facts, evidence, and notes to guide you during the conversation. Be flexible and use neutral, direct, and simple language. 

Keep things positive

When having a difficult conversation with an employee, you need to keep things positive. Approaching the situation negatively can make the other person argumentative and defensive. 

Put yourself in your employee's shoes and imagine how you would want the information given to you.

Please avoid using any language that could imply a punishment is involved and instead frame it in a positive light. Switch out terms like "disciplinary meeting," for something like "quick chat." 

Here are a few ways you can ease into the conversation: 

 

  • How are things going?

  • How are you feeling about joining the team?

  • Do you have any suggestions on how we can reach that goal?

  • Can we chat about some feedback we have received about your performance?

You can customize these questions positively to open the communication lines and steer the conversation towards coaching them. 

Don't just point out all the things they are doing wrong. Share positive examples of how to improve so they do not feel like they are failing and lose motivation. 

Remember to end the session such that the employee leaves knowing that they can and will do better. The goal is to help them feel dedicated to achieving their objectives and accountable for their results. 

Avoid letting your emotions take over

Difficult workplace discussions should always be based on facts and not feelings. Factoring in your emotions can affect the situation's progress by overshadowing the conversation. This means avoiding terms such as "I feel," "I'm upset," or "I'm disappointed," which can make you seem biased. 

It is also good to allow the employee to comment on the information you have provided. This will encourage a productive conversation and help to improve your relationship with the employee. 

Reschedule or postpone the meeting if need be so that both of you can deal with your feelings about the situation separately. That way, when the time comes, you will have your emotions in check so you can address the matter. 

Provide options and offer to help them move forward

As a manager, you also play the role of a leader and a coach in the workplace. So you need to provide your team with all the tools they need to excel. 

Let the person take something positive from the conversation by asking how you can help them move forward or offering to give them a good recommendation. Provide suggestions on how they can improve and help them grow from that experience without putting them down. This is a great way to maintain that respect in the workplace and preserve relationships. 

Conduct a follow-up review 

After the conversation, assess whether the situation has improved. Take some time to have another informal chat with the employee to revisit what was discussed before and show you still support them. This will go a long way in boosting their confidence and encouraging them to stay on the right path. It will also show that you still side with them even after sorting out the issue. 

Conclusion

No one likes to have difficult conversations in the workplace, but you will have to do it as a manager. To successfully handle such dialogues, you need to have an efficient and strategic approach, and the above tips will help with that. Preparing your strategy beforehand will help you communicate better with your employees to resolve problems and preserve workplace relationships. 

Written by

Sandra Musonge

Sandra Musonge is a part-time writer at Fuzu with over five years of experience under her belt, helping numerous B2B and B2C clients with their content needs. She writes to inspire and not just to inform. Her educational background in Biochemistry has given her a broad base from which to approach many topics. You can find her enjoying nature or trying out new recipes when she isn't writing.


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