Dear Toto Mercy,
How have you been since we last met? I know we have not spoken to each other for a very long time. The older me has been so busy trying to make ends meet. Unlike before when I was with you, my sleeping patterns have changed. I can no longer sleep during the day especially on weekdays. Most of the time I am glued in a computer trying to impress readers with my stories or drafting proposals that would make a donor pump money into the organization that I currently work for. Oh! I forgot to mention that I got a place to keep myself busy and help pay my bills. I owe this to you. You pushed me to join the ‘I Choose Life’ movement back in campus. This played a major role in my internship selection and later, a job in the same organization.
Today, I am writing to say that I am sorry. I am sorry because I did not put enough effort to ensure that you lived well. After high school, I spent a year just relaxing at home. I did not bother to volunteer or do short courses that would eventually boost my career. During my long holidays in campus, I did not seek attachment opportunities that would enable me gain experience in my field. I only realized that later on. I am sorry for pushing JKUAT down your throat with my Journalism course. I insisted that I wanted to study Journalism there but never had a genuine reason. I was being selfish and only wanted to be closer to someone who never loved me or cared about me in the first place. I am glad we journeyed on to Maseno.
At Maseno, I strived to focus on my studies. We struggled with good grades but I never got first class – the dream of every campus student that is usually shattered right after the first semester. I never took this opportunity to network with the right people. I was afraid of taking chances in the Journalism field. My worst fear was being rejected. I was afraid of taking risks. As a result, I have missed out on opportunities. A lot of people saw potential in me that I never did. The closest I got to the media industry was a live interview during our graduation ceremony.
However, I have not lost hope. Even though I have switched to the NGO world, I hope that one day I will align myself to my career in Journalism. I may not grace the screens of Kenya’s televisions or write articles for the ‘Standard Newspaper’, but I hope to play a significant role in the media industry. I have learnt to take risks.
I hope you find it in your heart to forgive my misgivings. I don’t wish to make similar mistakes with this new life.
Signed,
Grown-up Mercy